I talked to my sister-in-law yesterday about the In-Law Invasion and now I feel a little better about the whole thing. See, Aaron's Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie, Mom, Dad, Sissy, and our Niece and Nephew are all coming on Tuesday and Wednesday and staying until Sunday. Gma and Gpa are looking for a senior living place to live out the remainder of their days near family. Boise has quite a selection of such places and is similar to their current Arizona climate (I know you think the winters here would be much worse than in AZ, but really they're pretty mild here in the valley--the mountains get all the snow). So, everyone is coming to help make the decision and to see each other. It's been two years since we've seen Gma and Gpa, and Auntie Joycie has never met Punk.

So, I was feeling a lot of pressure to make everything wonderful and ensure that everyone has a wonderful time while they're here. I love to have people in my home and enjoy doing what I can to make them feel comfortable and cared for. People often tell me they feel at peace in my home and that I have a gift for hospitality. BUT, every strength has it's shadow and I'm prone to overdoing it or getting stressed out by these kinds of things. I think a lot of people relate to the in-law pressure. It's kind of unfair to even call it that because I know most of it is self-imposed, but I want to make a good impression and to accommodate everyone's needs and desires for their time here. Especially with those we don't see often, I want them all to know what a great kid Punk is and for them to approve Aaron's choice of wife!

I was explaining to Aaron the other day that part of my stress comes from not really knowing the rules of the game. We've only been married 6 years and none of the in-laws live closer than an 8-hour drive. The first Christmas we were married, we spent with the in-laws. My family are game players so I suggested we play a round of Taboo after Christmas dinner. I had no idea at the time that they didn't really want to play, they were just being nice to the blushing bride. I also had no idea that Dad would get terribly frustrated at his inability to avoid the "taboo" words and would wind up yelling at me! I didn't know the rules of the family game (like, don't make Dad mad!) and I got my head bit off.

The longest I've ever spent with any of this family has been a week at a time. I've only met Joycie once or twice. I just don't have a great grasp on what's expected of me or how this family operates. Am I supposed to come up with meals for all 11 of us?! Gma and Gpa and Sissy's family all have dietary "oddities" so how do I accommodate everyone? Will I be spending all day every day in the kitchen just to get all the food on the table? Will I be able to "escape" if I need to get some time away? Will they approve of my discipline of Punk? What will we do for all this time together? On and on, I'm just not sure how to play the game. I don't want to disappoint anyone or cause them to think Aaron's made a poor choice.

Aaron's answer, of course, is to just relax and be yourself. That's very much his style (and, besides, this is his family--he already knows all the rules!). That just doesn't really work for me.

So, anyway, I talked to his sister yesterday. She reassured me that they're all just visiting and can relax on their dietary stuff for a few days. They're also bring a couple of casseroles to help keep us out of the kitchen. Anyway, after talking with her, I felt a little better.

Then, I got the mail. In it was the Mother's Day card she'd been meaning to send for a month! She wrote a really sweet note inside saying that she really admires me as a mom and as a person. She also affirmed that I am a good wife to Aaron and have "enriched his life." It was so good to hear those things--it just came against all the fears I was having and made me feel so much better.

Well, Punk's having a breakdown and my cramps are about to make me throw up. Plus, that's pretty much the end of my story. Uuugh. See you after the invasion!