The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Rebel Within

Oh my, oh my! I am so rebellious on the inside! You'd never know it from the outside. Unless you saw my bellybutton--which you probably never will. But, if you did, you'd see the warped hole from the pre-pregnancy piercing. But that's another story. We're talking about the rebel within today.

What I've noticed so far on the fast is that the food isn't so bad. Like I said, this isn't too far of a leap from normal for us. We usually do have plenty of meat (and a daily Cherry Coke!) and far more chocolate than is technically necessary (I do believe some is a necessity), but we're accustomed to whole grains and veg. So, anyway, what we "can" eat hasn't really been a problem for me. But, I am starting to really strain inwardly against the restrictions. The first week wasn't so bad because I was full of hope and expectation. But the novelty has now worn off.

I've noticed this rebelliousness before in my life (the previous biggest example was physical intimacy during my engagement to Aaron). I'm like a horse who has acres and acres of gorgeous pasture land to roam and run upon, but instead, I spend my time butting my head into the fence. Uuugh. Rather than enjoying all that my Master has provided, rather than running to Him, I chafe myself against the boundaries. How dumb is that?!

During my engagement to Aaron, I basically lived off of Ps 16:6 "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." I had to constantly remind myself that everything I really needed and really wanted was within the bounds God had set. My future was sweet within the boundaries. The only thing outside that fence was pain, destruction, and death. Not that sexual intimacy is any of those things, and not that chicken and steak and cheese and chocolate are either, but obedience and righteousness are life. Even things that are good or neutral can become destructive when they are not kept in their rightful places. My old pastor used the example of fire, which brings light and heat to a home when kept in the fireplace, but death and destruction when it's allowed outside of it's boundaries.

My current pastor blogged this the other day: "I have noticed in my life that when I spend more time with God during a fast then I am less tempted towards the things I am staying away from. ...We must be committed to time with God as much as we are committed to time away from food." The thing is, whenever we focus on the boundaries, we're asking the wrong question: "How far can I go?" That question always moves us away from God. The question we should be asking is "How close can I get to God?" It seems He dwells in the center of our "boundary lines," as far from them in any direction. The whole point of the fast is moving closer to Him, so what am I doing butting my head on the fence? He's not there. He doesn't hang around the fringes. Time to get recentered. Time to hit the Book... and my knees.


My Man and Me

My Man and Me
married 7/7/2001


ours through biology, born 7/25/2004, home 8/1/2004


ours through adoption from Liberia, West Africa, born 7/15/2005, home 10/25/2007


ours through domestic adoption, born 1/15/2011, home 2/10/2011, final 8/3/2011

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I blog for myself and my kids and I would do it even if no one else cared, but I do like to hear from you (and think it's a wee bit creepy of you to voyeurize us without my knowing it). So, please leave a comment from time to time, or email me anytime at Much obliged, I'm sure.

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Round Two Timeline

  • 9/24/08 Home study update home visit for Ghana adoption
  • 10/15/08 Dossier sent to AOHG
  • 10/15/08 I600A application sent to USCIS
  • 10/30/08 First heard about possible domestic private adoption
  • 11/18/08 Last spoke with contact about possible domestic adoption; expected to hear back about meeting with birthmother
  • 12/3/08 Withdrew application from AOHG
  • 1/6/09 Found out another family had been chosen for possible domestic adoption
  • 1/21/09 USCIS fingerprinting appointment
  • 1/8/09 Received USCIS fingerprinting appointment notice
  • 4/11/09 Sent Pre-Application to Covenant Care Adoptions for Domestic Infant Adoption program
  • 6/8/09 Social worker visit to update home study from International to Domestic
  • 7/24/09 Received completed home study update
  • 8/25/09 Went "on the list" for birthfamilies to choose from
  • 4/28/10 Found out a birth mom had chosen us
  • 5/8/10 Met the birth mom
  • 5/11/10 Got the call that birth mom changed her mind
  • 5/19/10 Birth mom's scheduled c-section
  • 11/30/10 Visit from DSS sw about foster parenting
  • 11/30/10 Got the call that another birth mom had chosen us
  • 12/21/10 Met with the birth mom
  • 1/15/11 @1:42 PM BB was born!
  • 1/19/11 ICPC (interstate) paperwork sent to GA for approval
  • 1/31/11 ICPC Clearance Approved
  • 2/10/11 Placement Ceremony and Pup comes home!!!!
  • 8/3/11 It's Official! Pup's Adoption Decree was issued