The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Five of Us, Spring 2014

Mental shifts

Over the last several days, I've had to make a couple mental shifts. Since Pea arrived at the orphanage at roughly the size and development of a typical American 9-month old, I have been thinking of her as a 9-month old, expecting her to rapidly catch up once she got home. Who could have guessed what 2 pounds and a few months at the orphanage would do for her?! As of the last report, she says a few words, interacts really well, stands without holding on, and takes one step before falling down. If she continues at this rate, she'll be much closer to being on target with her peers by the time we go get her. So, now I'm anticipating bringing home a tiny 2-yr-old walking, talking toddler instead of a 9-month old baby!

The other thing I'm wrapping my head around is the new and improved passport issuance system in Liberia. When we started the adoption process a year ago, there was about 2 weeks from finalization of the adoptions to travel. During that time, the passports were issued and the visas applied for. For many months the finalization to travel time has been more like 4-6 months. Late last week there was an announcement that passports will now take only one month and the visa process will take 2 weeks, so the latest timeline is 6-8 weeks from finalization to travel! For Pea and us, that means the timeline was that we'd travel sometime between July (which I was considering magical thinking) and November (which I was considering hopeful to bring her home before Christmas), but now we anticipate traveling sometime between July (her b-day is July 13 and so now the magical thinking is that we might be holding her on her b-day) and AUGUST! Wahoo!

(A minor mental shift: the quickness of passports means less time for Pence to get caught up in his process, so it is almost certain that the kids will be coming home at different times.)

All of this drove me to an internet-wide and city-wide search for the perfect bedding ensemble for my (Pea's) pink dream-room! Yes, I scoured the world wide web and the city of Boise for puffy pink perfection all weekend! And, I made my first purchase toward Pea's room yesterday. It's a bed-in-a-bag set I got at Bed, Bath, and Beyond on clearance with the additional 20% off coupon they're always stocking me with (they don't expire, by the way, even though they have an expiration date printed right on them and competitor's coupons are also good despite their expirations!). It's a pale pink with chocolate-brown damask designs on one side of the comforter and pink and chocolate stripes on the other side. The sheets are barely pink with teeny pink and brown strips and brown grosgrain ribbon accents. I'm plotting the creation of a lovely bedskirt in my dreams.

In the flurry of thoughts of how to dress the bed, I did put some energy into thinking about what bed she will actually sleep in! We have now accumulated 3 twin mattresses, a crib (that Punk's using right now), and a Pack n Play. So, we were going to move Punk into a big-boy bed (I think you all know that Aaron is making unbunkable bunk beds for the boys) and Pea into the crib. But, when I realized she was growing up so fast, I got a little ahead of myself and wanted to put her in a bed too. Then I realized the wisdom of confinement and went back to putting Pea in Punk's crib and still moving him to a bed. Then I realized the wisdom of confinement again and the final verdict for now is that Pea will sleep in the Pack n Play (as she does at the orphanage) and Punk will stay in his crib, but in the boys' room. This is a wonderful arrangement for several reasons: both kids are confined, neither kid is transitioning to a new way of sleeping, it buys A more time to work on the boys' beds, I have no compulsion to pinkerize the Pack n Play (I did have an overwhelming drive to pinkerize the crib dressings if Pea was going to be using it, notwithstanding the incredible waste of resources that would have been since she wouldn't be there long), and there will be a bed in Pea's room for me if I need it during midnight wakings. Aah, I like this plan.

So, we will be spending our spare time (ha!) cleaning out the boys' room since it has been a catch-all storage area for us. When that room is ready, we'll move Punk over. Then we can paint Pea's room. Yippee! I saw a picture of a nursery with a tree painted on the wall and it inspired me. I think it can't be too hard, but then I found out I have a friend who might be willing to do a much better job than I ever could! I'll keep you all posted as to when the painting party (parties?--I haven't decided whether the boys' room needs a fresh coat yet) will be! :)

A is "inspired" by the fact that we have to purge the kids' rooms as part of the new arrangements. He now believes that this is the perfect opportunity to purge every room in the house. I kid you not. Who has the time and mental energy to comb through every last possession (about-to-expire coupons notwithstanding) and decide it's entire future in a matter of milliseconds? My dearly beloved husband was a clutter nazi when I married him, but I thought I had thoroughly corrupted him over the past 6 years. Apparently, he was just in the closet (oh the irony!) and is about to go gestapo on me and my beloved (and useful! and necessary!) stuff. I really don't have toooo much trouble deciding what has to go--my hang up is where it will go. You can't just send my housemates (yes it's lonely over here) to the dump! Someone somewhere must be able to use it! A wants me to make a pile of all the things I agree must go and simply trust him to find good homes for it all. I just don't think his idea of a good home (the curb!) is the same as mine. Plus, I'm always scheming--Well, we could sell it on Ebay! Oh, we should have a garage sale with all this stuff! The ARC is always calling!--whereas he just wants it GONE, the sooner the better.

Anyhow, I'll let you know how our marriage survives the extreme pink-ness of one small room of our home and the extreme clutter-deprivation of every other room in our home! :)

(Oh dismal thought! Will even Punk's myriad playthings be subject to the iron fist?! How I mourn for you, poor Happy Meal toys!!!)


Anonymous said...

Coming up so quick! I can't wait for her to be in your arms. Very exciting.


Amy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tarah said...

We just did a spring cleaning this weekend after ARK called! The garage even got a good cleaning. I think it is good, and kinda like nesting for a new babe.
I love brown and pink. Let me know if you need help. I am way too much into pink now!
Love ya!

Tami said...

Finally catching up on your blog... I'm laughing that you used the word "beloved" to describe both Aaron and your stuff! I'm with ya though - perhaps we should look for a "clutters annonymous" group in Boise. ;-)

In light of your desire to give away more wealth, consider your stuff also as wealth. And even that ARC donations will give you a tax credit, and that means more money to give to those who you really want to bless.

Love ya!

My Man and Me

My Man and Me
married 7/7/2001


ours through biology, born 7/25/2004, home 8/1/2004


ours through adoption from Liberia, West Africa, born 7/15/2005, home 10/25/2007


ours through domestic adoption, born 1/15/2011, home 2/10/2011, final 8/3/2011

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Round Two Timeline

  • 9/24/08 Home study update home visit for Ghana adoption
  • 10/15/08 Dossier sent to AOHG
  • 10/15/08 I600A application sent to USCIS
  • 10/30/08 First heard about possible domestic private adoption
  • 11/18/08 Last spoke with contact about possible domestic adoption; expected to hear back about meeting with birthmother
  • 12/3/08 Withdrew application from AOHG
  • 1/6/09 Found out another family had been chosen for possible domestic adoption
  • 1/21/09 USCIS fingerprinting appointment
  • 1/8/09 Received USCIS fingerprinting appointment notice
  • 4/11/09 Sent Pre-Application to Covenant Care Adoptions for Domestic Infant Adoption program
  • 6/8/09 Social worker visit to update home study from International to Domestic
  • 7/24/09 Received completed home study update
  • 8/25/09 Went "on the list" for birthfamilies to choose from
  • 4/28/10 Found out a birth mom had chosen us
  • 5/8/10 Met the birth mom
  • 5/11/10 Got the call that birth mom changed her mind
  • 5/19/10 Birth mom's scheduled c-section
  • 11/30/10 Visit from DSS sw about foster parenting
  • 11/30/10 Got the call that another birth mom had chosen us
  • 12/21/10 Met with the birth mom
  • 1/15/11 @1:42 PM BB was born!
  • 1/19/11 ICPC (interstate) paperwork sent to GA for approval
  • 1/31/11 ICPC Clearance Approved
  • 2/10/11 Placement Ceremony and Pup comes home!!!!
  • 8/3/11 It's Official! Pup's Adoption Decree was issued