The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Five of Us, Spring 2014

Transition is Tough

Imagine, if you will, that you are a fun-loving, imaginative, tenacious, curious, fairly easy-going orange-haired three year old boy. Your mom and dad went to Africa and left you with friends for eleven days and when they came back, they spent the next four and half days crazily tossing every physical thing in your house into cardboard boxes (between telling you to "Leave that ALONE!!!"). The second part of that half-day, you and your mama got to ride on big airplanes all the way from your home in Boise, ID to your grandparents home in Plainfield, IL. Without your daddy. In fact, you woke up from your nap on the airplane, crying, "I want my DADDY!!!!" Your mama was very sad for you, but she really didn't know what to do but cuddle you a little closer.

Grandma's house is nice and all, but she doesn't have any toys. Except the really cool model cars in the basement that she says are Uncle Matt's and only for big boys. There's lots of stuff here you're not allowed to touch--lots of buttons you desperately want to push (Gramma Linda and Grandpa Ken have always been "gadget" people), but aren't allowed to. There are FOUR remotes for the TV system--surely they could spare one for you!

And, Daddy's not here. You're really not sure where he is, but you hardly had enough time with him between Africa and the airplanes to get here. Yesterday, in one of your many tantrums (after all, all of this is pretty stressful for you), you wailed, "I want to go HOME!!!" and poor mommy was at even more of a loss for how to comfort you. You have no home. And, you'll never go back to your old home. Sure, you're going to go live on a 200-acre farm and that's going to be really fun, but it'll take a while before that starts to feel like home. And you're the kind of orange-haired three year old boy who sorta likes his routine and takes security from predictability. Spontaneity is fun, but only in small doses. And when you're feeling stable in the major things in life. Which you don't right now.

On top of everything, Mama's hormonal and neither of you is sleeping very well these days. Mama says Daddy will be here Saturday evening. And that you'll go to the zoo and maybe the aquarium and things like that when he gets here. But, it really doesn't make you feel much better. And, Mama knows that when you all get to the farm (Sept. 30), she and Daddy will be jumping right into work (Oct. 1!). Transition is tough, even on a big guy like you, or a big girl like Mama. You just hope you both keep it together long enough to make it through. Maybe some of Mama's blog-stalkers will pray for you both, and Daddy too. That's sure to help. That, and a nice long nap.

12 comments:

Denise Nelson said...

Dear Rachel:

As a mom with 8 bio kids, we have moved let's see: lots! Try and find a "normal" activity to do with your son. In the midst of boxes, read him his favorite book, veg in front of his favorite movie, you will get into a routine eventually. But for now try and roll with the punches as much as possible. You've got alot on your plate right now. Lord, please give Rachel your comfort and peace right now. God, anoint her with your spirit of wisdom and discernment. Keep Your angels of protection around her, her family, her thoughts, her body, mind and spirit. in Jesus Name

Denise and all in MI

amber said...

Tell that orange-haired little boy that we're praying for him during this transition... and tell his tired mama we're praying for her too!

I'll be praying for a couple good, long nights of sleep for both of you the next few nights. It's amazing how differently things look after getting much-needed rest!

Love ya!
Amber

Owlhaven said...

Praying for your sweetie!!

Mary

Anonymous said...

Rachel,
I wish I could hug you! It will get easier. We will be praying for your family in this unpredictible transition time. If you could only look ahead a few weeks...months...you guys are going to do great!
Teresa in Iowa

Becky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bingaling said...

Praying for all of you! Hang in there!
Chanda

blessedmommy said...

We are praying for all of you.
In Christ,
Melissa Arnold (AOH family)

fully operational battle station said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tami said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Scott and Katy said...

Oh Rachel, we are praying for you all and the transition and the mixed emotions.
I know how you feel... we are military family...we almost never really feel like we are at home!
It's tough, but it's the little guys who typically adjust faster and better are more resilient in the long run!!! I, however, still struggle. The awesome thing is that you are moving into and incredible ministry with so many great people lifting you up in prayer!
Tell your little man he's got a lot of friends praying for him!
Praying for a smooth transition!
Love,
Katy

Campbell's Hope said...

We are praying for your family.:)
You guys are going to be great at this job.....Hang it there..

Robin

DeniseinSC said...

Hang in there! Will amp up the prayers for you and your two men!! Love ,Denise

My Man and Me

My Man and Me
married 7/7/2001

Punk

Punk
ours through biology, born 7/25/2004, home 8/1/2004

Pea

Pea
ours through adoption from Liberia, West Africa, born 7/15/2005, home 10/25/2007

Pup

Pup
ours through domestic adoption, born 1/15/2011, home 2/10/2011, final 8/3/2011

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Round Two Timeline

  • 9/24/08 Home study update home visit for Ghana adoption
  • 10/15/08 Dossier sent to AOHG
  • 10/15/08 I600A application sent to USCIS
  • 10/30/08 First heard about possible domestic private adoption
  • 11/18/08 Last spoke with contact about possible domestic adoption; expected to hear back about meeting with birthmother
  • 12/3/08 Withdrew application from AOHG
  • 1/6/09 Found out another family had been chosen for possible domestic adoption
  • 1/21/09 USCIS fingerprinting appointment
  • 1/8/09 Received USCIS fingerprinting appointment notice
  • 4/11/09 Sent Pre-Application to Covenant Care Adoptions for Domestic Infant Adoption program
  • 6/8/09 Social worker visit to update home study from International to Domestic
  • 7/24/09 Received completed home study update
  • 8/25/09 Went "on the list" for birthfamilies to choose from
  • 4/28/10 Found out a birth mom had chosen us
  • 5/8/10 Met the birth mom
  • 5/11/10 Got the call that birth mom changed her mind
  • 5/19/10 Birth mom's scheduled c-section
  • 11/30/10 Visit from DSS sw about foster parenting
  • 11/30/10 Got the call that another birth mom had chosen us
  • 12/21/10 Met with the birth mom
  • 1/15/11 @1:42 PM BB was born!
  • 1/19/11 ICPC (interstate) paperwork sent to GA for approval
  • 1/31/11 ICPC Clearance Approved
  • 2/10/11 Placement Ceremony and Pup comes home!!!!
  • 8/3/11 It's Official! Pup's Adoption Decree was issued