The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Five of Us, Spring 2014


I love my husband dearly, respect him unreservedly, and admire him to the extent that I know he has more character than I'll ever have. But, romance is a spiritual discipline for him! It really doesn't come naturally to him. He really has to think about it a lot to make it happen. So, I was surprised when he came home with a "love note" (on graph paper, girls--I kid you not!) for me last night. Here's an excerpt:

You are an amazing, strong, passionate woman and I have a lot of admiration for how you love our children and are jealous for time with me. Your strength and intelligence make it even more amazing that you submit to my leadership in our family. Your submission with the dresser had a big impact on me that is hard to describe.
So, you all know that it was necessary for me to get him to expound upon that during pillow talk last night. He said that it was impossible to put words to it, but that it really made him feel like a man (and all these years I thought that was what sex was for! But more on that later...) and freed him from the doubts and turmoil he was feeling about deciding about the dresser. He said he felt peace just wash over him when I gave my weak "Okay." At first he thought he was just feeling sorry for me having to give it up, but then he realized that wasn't it at all. He was feeling empowered in his manhood and leadership. I was a little stunned. I mean, it was obvious to the casual observer that my heart wasn't really in that "Okay" (if only you could have heard it, e-friends and stalkers!) and that it was a huge struggle for me to even get it out. I even felt a little guilty about how badly I was submitting. When I admitted that to him, he said, "But you did it. Knowing that it was hard makes it all the more meaningful. If you only support my decisions when you agree with them, that's pretty hollow. Knowing how much you wanted that meant that you valued my leadership and our relationship all the more." Oh, right. I didn't look at it that way.

So, while I LOVE the new dresser and I'm still in awe that I even found my ideal, much less that I now own it!, I am even more in awe of what God did for our relationship through this experience. Just a few weeks ago I was marvelling about what submission meant to our relationship when we are in sync and now we've attained this whole new amazing level of intimacy and relationship. I would give up that dresser a thousand times to reach this place. It's such a pleasure to have affirmed and built up my husband in this way. The joy I get from the dresser pales in comparison.

So, I promised you some sex talk up there. I came across this really novel article this morning. It's a whole new perspective on sex talk--a biblical perspective with a biblical vocabulary. And, the article is written from a husband's perspective which I always find enlightening. Guaranteed to make you giggle and blush at least once! If you give it a try, I expect a report! ;)


Tarah said...

What a sweet hubby!

I have never been bashful about sex. But seriously, if I over-hear you scheming with Aaron at a BBQ thinking you are being coy, I know what these all mean now:
“I think the stag is ready to play in the garden.”
“I feel like getting some fruit from the orchard.”
“The vine is definitely growing in the garden of nuts.”
“I’m in the mood to climb the palm tree.”
“We should let the gazelle and fawns out tonight.”
“Would you like me to feed among the lilies?”

Brandi said...

Always a great reminder about submission!! What a wonderful lesson and what a sweet Jesus to give you such a perfect gift to bless your obedience.

Now, about the sex talk. Great article, we'll definitely use it!! However, I agree with Tarah that it shouldn't be used in public. Ok, maybe you could get away with casually saying "I've been wanting to climb a palm tree" however, I'm thinking that "the stag is ready to play in the garden" is a definite giveaway!!

Jess said...

Thanks for visiting me. I enjoyed the dresser drama. I have said that same whimpy "OK" so many times myself...spirit being somewhat willing, flesh being very willing to do my very own thing. God has graciously allowed me to reap the benefits of these small exercises of faith many times over! :) Glad to be in touch again. Love, Jess

Ginger said...

Submission is a wonderful thing for a marriage, isn't it? Our marriage has changed 100% since I learned the blessings of the s word. Congrats!

Leslie said...

Single girl just happening by--moving right along! ;)

My Man and Me

My Man and Me
married 7/7/2001


ours through biology, born 7/25/2004, home 8/1/2004


ours through adoption from Liberia, West Africa, born 7/15/2005, home 10/25/2007


ours through domestic adoption, born 1/15/2011, home 2/10/2011, final 8/3/2011

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Round Two Timeline

  • 9/24/08 Home study update home visit for Ghana adoption
  • 10/15/08 Dossier sent to AOHG
  • 10/15/08 I600A application sent to USCIS
  • 10/30/08 First heard about possible domestic private adoption
  • 11/18/08 Last spoke with contact about possible domestic adoption; expected to hear back about meeting with birthmother
  • 12/3/08 Withdrew application from AOHG
  • 1/6/09 Found out another family had been chosen for possible domestic adoption
  • 1/21/09 USCIS fingerprinting appointment
  • 1/8/09 Received USCIS fingerprinting appointment notice
  • 4/11/09 Sent Pre-Application to Covenant Care Adoptions for Domestic Infant Adoption program
  • 6/8/09 Social worker visit to update home study from International to Domestic
  • 7/24/09 Received completed home study update
  • 8/25/09 Went "on the list" for birthfamilies to choose from
  • 4/28/10 Found out a birth mom had chosen us
  • 5/8/10 Met the birth mom
  • 5/11/10 Got the call that birth mom changed her mind
  • 5/19/10 Birth mom's scheduled c-section
  • 11/30/10 Visit from DSS sw about foster parenting
  • 11/30/10 Got the call that another birth mom had chosen us
  • 12/21/10 Met with the birth mom
  • 1/15/11 @1:42 PM BB was born!
  • 1/19/11 ICPC (interstate) paperwork sent to GA for approval
  • 1/31/11 ICPC Clearance Approved
  • 2/10/11 Placement Ceremony and Pup comes home!!!!
  • 8/3/11 It's Official! Pup's Adoption Decree was issued