The Five of Us, Spring 2014

The Five of Us, Spring 2014


18 May 2010

Our birth mother changed her mind. She texted her case worker last week and has been incommunicado ever since. Under pressure from her family, she has elected to raise the baby after all. He'll be born by c-section tomorrow.

On the afternoon I received the call last week, I saw my fleecy pull-over lying on the floor of my bedroom. I wanted to put it on to comfort me, but it was a hot day. I thought, "I need to put on Jesus like a fleecy sweater." And, He has comforted me.

I'm still sad and tomorrow will be a hard day for me. But, I've had time to come to grips with it. Time to struggle with hope and to wrestle with what to pin my hope to. Sometimes I have fought in prayer for that baby to become mine against all odds. For obstacles to be placed in the way of this plan, just as they were placed in the way of the abortion attempts early in the pregnancy. I have prayed for the birth mom and her father (who demanded the change of direction). I have prayed that no matter what happens, no matter who ends up raising this child, that there would be zero regrets, zero resentment, and zero rejection. I wouldn't grieve for the mom and baby so much if I could be sure that they will live without those three Rs.

And, as trite as it sounds, I know that God will bring us a child and He will fulfill His promise to me (to exceed my expectations) in another way. At first I couldn't believe that. I was so certain that this child was the fulfillment of the promise. And, I do believe God meant that baby for our family. I don't really understand the interworkings of His sovereignty and our free will any more than anyone else does, but I can believe that God wanted that baby to come to our family and that human frailty caused it not to happen. I also believe that He can and will still fulfill that promise. The bar of my expectation has been raised a lot since He made the promise and even more since He allowed me to taste a fulfillment of it, but He is so much more than my mind can contain. He can blow my mind again. And again. And again. I don't know how He'll do it, but I KNOW He will.

When I first got the news, I didn't know what to hope for, what to believe for. Now I do. I just have to keep believing the promise He gave me. He showed me He's totally capable of exceeding my expectations. Somehow, that taste of His glory makes me even more sure that He is going to fulfill His promise. Though I am disappointed that this chapter is not ending the way we thought it would, somehow it has strengthened my faith. Somehow I can believe and hope better than I had been hoping and believing before we rode this section of the roller coaster.

I guess that's something of the mystery of faith.


Heart4Adoption said...

Oh Rachel...I'm so sorry.

Veronica said...

Wow, you're so awesome, God is going to pour his favor on you! Love you VW

The Bradshaw Family said...

I am so sorry, Rachel. You are such a testimony to the goodness of God. His glory shines through and in you. Thanks for being a shining example to me. Love ~ RB

My Man and Me

My Man and Me
married 7/7/2001


ours through biology, born 7/25/2004, home 8/1/2004


ours through adoption from Liberia, West Africa, born 7/15/2005, home 10/25/2007


ours through domestic adoption, born 1/15/2011, home 2/10/2011, final 8/3/2011

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Round Two Timeline

  • 9/24/08 Home study update home visit for Ghana adoption
  • 10/15/08 Dossier sent to AOHG
  • 10/15/08 I600A application sent to USCIS
  • 10/30/08 First heard about possible domestic private adoption
  • 11/18/08 Last spoke with contact about possible domestic adoption; expected to hear back about meeting with birthmother
  • 12/3/08 Withdrew application from AOHG
  • 1/6/09 Found out another family had been chosen for possible domestic adoption
  • 1/21/09 USCIS fingerprinting appointment
  • 1/8/09 Received USCIS fingerprinting appointment notice
  • 4/11/09 Sent Pre-Application to Covenant Care Adoptions for Domestic Infant Adoption program
  • 6/8/09 Social worker visit to update home study from International to Domestic
  • 7/24/09 Received completed home study update
  • 8/25/09 Went "on the list" for birthfamilies to choose from
  • 4/28/10 Found out a birth mom had chosen us
  • 5/8/10 Met the birth mom
  • 5/11/10 Got the call that birth mom changed her mind
  • 5/19/10 Birth mom's scheduled c-section
  • 11/30/10 Visit from DSS sw about foster parenting
  • 11/30/10 Got the call that another birth mom had chosen us
  • 12/21/10 Met with the birth mom
  • 1/15/11 @1:42 PM BB was born!
  • 1/19/11 ICPC (interstate) paperwork sent to GA for approval
  • 1/31/11 ICPC Clearance Approved
  • 2/10/11 Placement Ceremony and Pup comes home!!!!
  • 8/3/11 It's Official! Pup's Adoption Decree was issued